where butter can fly...

terrible terrible feeling... k... mayb i realli look as if i njoi going to school... but if they r really my close kin... they should how i will b like when i m realli happy rite... they just dunno... and while i m realli struggling hard now... they dun understand... they treat it like studying should not b my priority... i should actualli help my bro wif his sch work first den to do my own work... even if i haf something urgent to do... helping my bro seems to b the rite thing tt i must do.. if not the whole house is like treating me like a selfish rat... n den i haf to save electricity.... sometimes i realli dun feel like using the com... but i haf no choice... almost everything is inside... and i cant use the bright lights.. i must use the 2 spot light tt shine by the side and not the one tt haf 3 spotlight tt is just above... just bcos i haf to save the electricity of tt one bulb... and den i when i sae my eyes will hurt if there is not enuff light... he sae it wont... it is my eyes le.. not his... so... i being left alone in the living room wif just two spot light... can u imagine how miserable is it... i realli feel tired... i feel myself dyeing soon.. soon... but eveybodi think i m toking crap... but i m really tired now... sooner or later i haf to die rite... when will i die?...

it is a terrible recess week...and i m feeling quite shagged and sick of it...i just want to be a couch potato for a day...dun seems to haf the time to rest...really tired...but i just cant stop bcos everything is still moving and if i ever stop i will left behind... probably at this point of time when i am writing this... was in the middle of reading some twisting and complicated notes...tt's y i m feeling terrible...want to be autistic for a while...i want everyone else to dun care about me...i want to be alone...i want to be a bit more super so tt i can complete doing what i have to do... they think i m hopeful...maybe i realli look tt way...but when i m lost and troubled...hu noes?...and i m still carrying the image of hope i think...ya rite...if they think i can help and give hope then i will give em hope lo... i should b quite satisfied with my life...haha.. am i contradicting...well, i think there's no way i can be better le ba...tt's my life...getting older each and every day...and i let every second pass by...at least i m not in serious trouble or anything. i dun feel that i m the author of my own story at all, cos there is generally nothing i m working on to lead my life... my life is just ordinary...maybe i want to change abit...but i also like everything to remain as it is.